Floated up from the ground and looked down...

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 02:12:36 GMT

if you want to know anything about me...here are some lyrics to some very good songs.

Alone... listless... breakfast table in an otherwise empty room
Young girl... violins... center of her own attention
The, mother reads aloud, child, tries to understand it
Tries to make her proud
The shades go down, it's in her head
Painted room... can't deny there's something wrong... (PEARL JAM; DAUGHTER)

Eyes Light up when we talk about the past...GOD i miss those songs we used to sing.....
Goddamn i wish him the best, we were kids back then as if we could progress, but sometimes i just cant sleep, thinking of everything we could have been. (THE FORMAT; GIVE IT UP)

You know i didnt mean what i just said
But my god woke up on the wrong side of his bed
and it just dont matter now..
little by litte i gave you everything you ever dreamed of
little by little the wheels have slowly off (OASIS; LITTLE BY LITTLE)

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 14:12:34 GMT

Alright...so after the events that took place this weekend i have resulted in becoming anorexic.
yup.

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 01:23:36 GMT

AW. my summer just got really good. Took a break from my two jobs and hosted Germans for 3 weeks. They are the cutest! I love their accents..and their faces! In westfield we have mostly guys and they are really nice and funny and its fun hanging out with them. OH and for new years im going to GERMANY and staying with them : ) SOOOO EXCITED!! i <3 Europe. (expc. the NO DRINKING AGE)

Today kinda sucked tho. Got yelled at by lori. BIG day ja vu right there (haha dont know how to spell that) and had to go to EFING church. then i had to work at subway and miss bowling and sleepover with the germs. PRetty sad. but tomorow is cottage/tubing day at the buchmans so im pumped : )

i cant believe they leave this week. im guna bawl my eyes out........

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 01:22:48 GMT

i just wanna rage.

my life sucks

my mom called the cops on me monday. got my car and cell fone taken away till thursday. today i get into my car to go to work. and it doesnt start. the AAA guy comes and jump starts me.
then at the bottom of laurel..my car dies AGAIN. (ps it just got fixed last week) and so im stuck in the middle of the road..and the guy rolls down the hill and has to tow me.
so i was late for work.(where i sliced myself iwth a knife) and i dont think im ever getting the shadow back.

so i have no fucking car until further notice. and i cant be locked up in my house. it just cant work like that.....

i need a car. ****one that actually works, and runs, and doesnt die.

asfdl;afkl;adsklf;skfl;akf;ldsa;fka'lkfal; i hate my life

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 15:50:23 GMT

Hi.

So. ive figured it out. Im wasting my life (SUMMER) away working. Here is my schedual.

Monday Thru Friday i work Tobacco 7 AM to 330 PM (and some saturdays 7 AM - 12 PM)
---and just for people who dont know what i do at tobacco: i either sew it and cut up my fingers all day, or i bench and do the same damn thing all day, OR finally i pick out in the dirty fields..

Saturday Thru Monday i work Subway 5 PM to 10 PM (and some sundays i work 10 AM to 8 PM) which is ALWAYS fun. and its so fun, cus i work ABSOLUTLY bymyself. . .

so i work seven days a week. all day most of the time. thats fucking awesome. . . oh and yea moneys good, but i seem to spend all of it on FOOD or bills, which is ALWAYS FUN.

Dane cook is the only thing getting me by right now..hes hilarious, i love it. Thats all i listen to now.

OOO hopefully i can go to NOHO this week with the tobac/ crew, cus thats my fav place. and i love tai pei ; )

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 04:06:25 GMT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

Theres so much i want to say . . . BUT i cant............................................

msdkfjklajflkdasjfklajdfklalkjlafl;kdsjflkasjfkl

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 04:39:06 GMT

hmmmmmm.

had a pretty fun night today..and last night. did the usual : )
i love all the random people i hang otu with now. haha, its chill tho. . . my subway girls are always fun too.

blah. sooo things are kinda shitty for me right now. i mean..yea it could be better..but then again its not SO bad. things could be worse. Im really not guna say its hte end of the world..cus right now..a few things had to go wrong. I couldnt be left up there, u know what i mean?

I'm actually seeing my dad and barb this summer. how fun is that? i love it. im so excited.

BUT i do have some sad news. Me and my bestfriend cant hang out anymore. Im not allowed over there which is a sad thing. it sucks that she got stuck inbetween all this shit, cus i never meant for that to happen.

I am fucking making BANK on my two jobs. Going shopping like every other day is absolutly making my life! ! !

oh yea..so UGH i cant stop wanting the things that i shouldnt!!!!!! i always..as in NEVER FAILS go after the things i know i shouldnt have or are bad for me. dkslafjklajfksladfjl;ajfklasalk;sj;lkd

. . . once again i still cant help it.

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 04:12:54 GMT

its funny how fucked your life can get in a matter of minutes.

something i thought was helping my friend...really hurt her and im sorry for that.

I think i've lost most of the things ive ever looked forward too before.

I never thought this would ever happen to me.

I think i've lost most of my close friends.

I've never been that affended before in my life.

I've never had arguments like that ever before.

I just hate that i was loving my life bout 2 days ago..and yes i still love my life..but the fact that ALL this fucked up shit (which is involving so many people which it shouldnt, and im sorry for that)had to happen on my birthday.

The worst day of my life---Happy seventeen to me...........

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 04:45:54 GMT

i love summer!

I'm so excited that its almost my birthday, and so far this summer has been real fun. lol I also loooove being single. . . ;)

but..i duno even tho theres the other ones..theres still this like WANT in me..for something i cant fucking have. and i know i shouldnt want that either....but I . Cant . Help . It .

ahhhh i always go for the things that i know i shouldnt..or that i know are guna be bad for me.

ha- this is confusing. but whatever. needed to SPIT IT OUT one way or the other.

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 16:37:32 GMT

Ok. I seriously need to start to make better choices. . Like i know I shouldnt be doing it, but i do anyways, and just dont say no. Its a REAL bad thing. . i need to do something about it.

ehhhh i dont feel good. late night . but it was fun .

going to work soon.

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 03:36:13 GMT

ya know. . . i've been having a good time lately but tonight just killed me. Things just LOADED up.

First i had to take the SATS which i suck at so bad..and i think i did worse than the first time. and then theres all this drama at my work..for something im getting blamed for which i NEVER did..and it just sucks. And then im getting used by someone and its pisssssssing me off so bad.ahhhhhhh i just wanna scrrrrrrrrreaaaaaaam.

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 01:59:10 GMT

My eye hurts like a mother. The left side of my face looks like im the devil. Its pretty scary.

Other than that i love my life : )

Sun, 29 May 2005 14:50:56 GMT

hey, havent updated in a while. It's almost summer and i cant wait! ! ! Almost my birthday (dont know what im doing yet..) and almost the Oasis concert! : )

Went to ware this weekend picked up something..and chilled with ben and sean for a bit, it was fun..i <3 the ware kids.

i looooove three day weekends. so fun!

i cant wait to work at tobacco, im guna have sooo much money along with subway!! im SO excited. Mall everyday bitch.

I cant wait till the German Boys come..i heard they're hott..so im pretttttty excited ! ! ! ! ! !

Sat, 14 May 2005 23:38:50 GMT

Wow. i just want to say things are SO great right now. . I'm having the TIME OF MY LIFE. Everything is going SO good, and i love it!!!!!!

Well, im gunna be an Editor for the Bomber Blaze next year and thats so exciting cus thats guna look wicked nice for college Aps. expc. for journalism. LOVE IT!

Just stoppin in on my way back out to Kristinas to update. having a fun weekend, went to mikes yesterday with some people, had a good time : ) and today i woke up at the butt crack of dawn and headed on down to hampton beach with a bunch of people. It was grrreat. i had a really fun time. Tomorrow i have to work, but whatev and i might be hanging out with someone but i duno yet.

Gotta go to the Enfield Mall this week. I need to before friday..lol AH im already thinking bout nextweekend, its crazy

NEXT WEEK IS MCAS. cant wait for breakfast baby..lol

im outttt

Sat, 07 May 2005 17:26:49 GMT

Sooooo..i took the SATS today, and totally bombed them. I've never done that bad on a test before it was aweful. All i could think about was how much time i had left, and how i didnt know any of the math problems, and how im never guna get into a good college just cus i suck under pressure. UGH plus im sick. BLEH

but hey on a good note. i actually am in possesion of my car today. 93 Teal Dodge Shadow. Its such a cute babe. i love it. : )
but theres still this underlying fact of how long am i guna have it till i ruin it?? I'm still scared to drive after all those incidents..bleh

I have to work today...ugrhrhrhrhrh (SHOOT MEH)

Fri, 06 May 2005 19:09:53 GMT

Things are really good right now. I can honestly say im happy with everything! Hopefully this feeling lastttttssss. : ) : )

Battered Down to Fair The Wind

Mon, 02 May 2005 00:30:27 GMT

Woww..

I'm so stressed right now. i better not get caught....

work is killing me. everytime i go i think my b.p. goes up like fifty million points..im just always on my toes there..and i feel like im always running around..nervous that i didnt do this right..didnt do that right. and its just constant paranoia.

And im so sick of people making me feel stupid, because if your guna act that way to me, and think your some smart ass shit... ill show you whos fucking smart when i punch you in the face...(ha....)

also..im so burnt out because every night im either staying up late with work..or going out past 12 It just gets tiring some days, and i suck at saying no to people and i hate staying home..even tho i KNOW i need rest..and its not like i dont enjoy going out, cus love it (cant deny) but im running myself down i think. . hmm

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 15:02:52 GMT

I had the best april vaca! ! !

It felt exactly like summer, and i had soooo much fun.

Speaking of summer, i cant wait. There are SOooo many good things going on. . Yosh wants me and katie to help coach a summer clinic with him and the schedual for when the Germans come sounds SOOO fun. . Plus I have my oasis concert to go to w/ a bunch of people, (maybe another Dave also?!) my birthday, and ofcourse, TOBACCO! OO i seriously CANT wait!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Going to go see Fever Pitch soon then off to work...and tomorrow i got my tourney at Loomis...PUMPED!

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 03:14:46 GMT

So tired. I've been running around, starting work, and going out the whole day/night every single day this vacation. Its kinda tiring...but i have had some fun times :) Except yesterday night was a little ruff, but everything's okay now, and im NEVER EvER guna fight with my bestfriend ever again, cus its just NOT RIGHT!

Anyways...today was a fun time, :) I kinda feel bad that i ditched the tennis team, but i had better plans....

ughhhhh tomorrow im DREADING work. honestly i feel like my life has gone down the drain after ive gotten a job there, its sooo HECTIC, and i get a headache just thinking bout it. 3 days in a goddamn row. THATS TOO MUCH!!

its werid but i actually like working tobacco better than this..WOW

well i dont wanna blow the news, and end up not getting it, but i think im getting a 93 Dodge Shadow. hahahaha its a shitpiece car, but whatev/ this way i can trash it and crash into things..and itll only be 200 bucks off my back. . .and i wont have to be EXTREMELY careful, and i can just be like WTF..and hey its a lil babe. so im happy!

but next week im pumped because the people im babysitting for are going away and want me to watch their dog and cat, and their letting me borrow their car for a week!!!!! thats so intense. im wicked pumped. it makes me a little nervous driving someone elses car, but itll def be worth it!!

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 15:55:27 GMT

I had SO much fun last night. . :)

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 04:07:20 GMT

"Waiting for blood to flow to my fingers ill be alright when my hands get warm, ignoring the fone.....your calling too late"
Listening to some good ol time Dashboard..and i love these lyrics..their so sweet! Gotta love dashboard for your hardcore emo fix. lol

Its funny tho how your perseption of someone can be so "distorted" for soo many years, and one day when you actually discover the truth..you look back and all youve ever known is a lie.. Weird. I Dont Like it, but then i think about how maybe the lie did me better than actually knowing the truth. This probably makes no sense...but WHATEV

I saw Amnyville horror tonight- GOd. im like shitting my pants right now..i bribed Char downstairs so she can keep me company. Why do i see scary movies when i kNOW i get like this! blehhh im stupid.

I got a busy week ahead of me..but its all good. I love managing the guys expec when tennis becomes a bitch.. i feel kinda bad tho..cus i def. fucked myself over, and yea i understand that, but i hate when the goddamn coaches have to come up and shove that in my face. ALRIGHT.. i GET IT. i fucking BLEW IT!!! theres always next year if my rep. to them hasnt been completely shattered i guess....

I start training next week also!! oh man... (i hope its not early..cus i fucking love sleep. and im bout to go hit my bed up right now)

PEACE OUT

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 00:14:36 GMT

Little things..make a hell of a difference in the long run.

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 22:25:32 GMT

I GOTA JOB!!!! WHOOO HOOO

Pride Station Subway baby ;)

---Theres only a couple hitches..i might get shot AND ill have no friends cus ill be working all the time...

BUT HEY! I get a car and ill be loaded (i have to say..the pay is pretty handsome)

for some reason....im not as happy as i should be...rather nervous and a lil sad that i wont have a life anymore....
oh..growing up SUCKS

whatev. at least i got one i guess....

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 22:24:33 GMT

oh man..im so stressed out! Between tennis, babysitting, SAT class, school, appointments, hopefully doing libero tracking for the guys, and soon to be work (going there tomorrow..hopefully everything works out O.K.), O.F. and J.O. im so burnt out.

Plus--i just want time to chill w. friends too..well its not like i havent BUT, i wish i had a little more free time!

Pumped for this weekend!! ;)

Got screamed at by another teacher today...whoooooo fun times!

I LOVE THIS WEATHER BTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 01:44:24 GMT

wow..so can i talk about how ive had this livejournal for 3 years..and i say basically the same things in almost every entry. HA- i read it from like frosh/sophomore year..and its just funny, cus i basically talk bout the same things/same people/same sports/same weekends/ SAME OL' SHIT

So yea. im an EXCITING person huh..

well i guess exciting things that happened to me arent worth writing in here...i duno why..but it just kinda demotes their excitingness...well yea..(ill tell myself that..HA)

got contacts btw (thats new and exciting..RIGHT?)

ha- ill stop trying..